The revelation that I am an aspergarian has been like finding myself at the theater of my life, seated comfortably in a mezzanine seat, viewing things straight forward and as I have been directing them to be viewed. Then, someone taps me on the shoulder and tells me to change seats, moving me closer to the stage and a bit to the side, where I get a different perspective on events. Suddenly I see that things that I once thought were formidable and stable, are but two dimensional stage sets. Oddly, the play makes more sense from this perspective.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Grrrrrrrrr-ate begining

OK.  This is tough.   I am not used to talking about myself.

No, I am much more comfortable speaking on a subject and then maybe how it pertains to me, or my interest, etc. 

There's nothing like the "So, tell me a little about yourself" question to make my mind go blank.  If I'm lucky and prepared for it, I have a canned answer.  I never did perfect that "elevator speech" that everyone is supposed to have ready for when they meet someone important.  Each situation seems to call upon it's own needs.

When caught off guard, I am like Kevin Spacey in The Usual Suspects.  I hunt around looking for a hook, something to interest the listener. Ergo I am very apt to go off on tangents.  Kevin Spacy's character was named "Verbal" because he talked so much, mostly about inconsequential details. Like Verbal, there are times when it's like my brain springs a leak and I dump whatever is on my mind out my mouth. 

As I've aged, I've gotten better at controlling this, because the consequences of this diarrhea of the mouth has taught me it's best to shut up.  But this is a function of nerves and being face-to-face with people without a script. 

Now, here I am - blank screen.  Writers block. 

Trite, isn't it?

So, what you have been reading here is basically the brain-dump of 'Verbal' Roz.

Nothing like forced public introspection to at once shut me up and make be babble nonsense.


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